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| My Depression
(Springfield) Born in a southern land where a man is a man don't remember too much warm mama, cold touch post war baby boom 50 kids in one room all white future bride but living in a womb got a tv receiver Jerry Mathers as The Beaver No blacks, no queers no sex, mousekete.ers daddy kept moving round I can't settle down always the lost new kid in town Manlicher, lock and loaded JFK's head exploded dark figure at the fence end of my innocence hormones hit me chew up spit me get stoned get plastered always was a moody bastard guitar fool, kicked out of high school joined a band/Vietnam mama-san/killed a man daddy gets real sick it's too intense I can't kick it bought myself a ticket to the USA Oh My God, it's my life what am I doing kickin up the foundation that's right, my life better start lookin at my destination Hollywood sex rat been there done that jaded, afraid I'd never get a turn at bat last in a long line, finally hit the big time goldmine, feedin time money, fame I get mine use it abuse it daddy dies I lose it get a wife, get a son beget another one head said God's dead motorcycle body shred midlife crisis rears it's ugly head Oh My God, it's my life what am I doing kickin up the foundation that's right, my life better start lookin at my destination Well, Prosaic, Lithium could never get enough of them Last Wills, shrink spills sleeping pills, sex kills edge of sanity, my infidelity looking in the mirror thinking how it use to be I don't like the skin I'm in caught in a tail spin honest to God there's a spiritual transmission climb aboard the life raft looking back I have to laugh take a breath don't know if I'm ready for the second half Oh My God, it's my life what am I doing kickin up the foundation that's right, my life better start lookin at my destination My life, my depression My sin, my confession my curse, my obsession my school my lesson that's right, my life my depression that's right, my life my depression (total playing time 3:01) Song Facts: This can be found on shock/denial/anger/acceptance.
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Fan Reviews
I find this one difficult to talk about, to review for some reason. Maybe it's the subject matter, maybe it's because the words are too harsh for me to dissect and look at with a microscope as I tend to do with most of Rick's music. It's a wonderful thing, being the fan of a musician who writes his own music in my opinion...it's also an awful thing.
The above review described almost exactly how I felt the first time I heard this song--and I put my headphones on at work and listened all day and kept taking notes and writing stuff down---it was so very revealing to me and I could not believe Rick was actually just "putting it all out there" for us to hear---of course I think he had some help in that decision too, though. I remember I loved, loved his voice and the hardness, roughness of this whole song---I bet I listened a 100 times in the first weeks after I first heard it--- trying to figure our all the words and coming to grips with what some of them might mean.
I cannot imagine the amount of courage it took to sit down and write a song that tells the story of your life. Rick puts it all out there and does not look back. The fact that he shares so many of the high and low points of his life with his fans is truly remarkable. This song puts the man and the legend of Rick Springfield in a new light for me. This song makes him a real person.
I got to hear the "original" version of this song a couple of years before it made it onto sdaa. I had heard a lot of good things about it before I heard it and I just knew I wasn't going to like it, simply because I was expecting too much. I was wrong. I loved this song. I thought at the time, it was probably the best song Rick Springfield had ever written. It was so in your face - this is my life, warts and all. No sugar coating here. Vietnam, drug use, depression. And no hints of infidelity to the point that people could try to explain around it.... just black and white - "my infidelity"....I think the thing I liked most about the original, was it was somewhat tongue and cheek, kind of "here's my life, it was really tough, but literally, looking back I have to laugh". For me, it seems to have lost that in the sdaa version. A lot more straight forward. In the original there was a voice inflection in the "always was a moody bastard" and in the " Prozac lithium, could never get enough of them". It seemed very light and very funny. I really miss that. I remember, too, after hearing that he was going to include this song on sdaa, we all couldn't wait to see which lines he pulled out, thinking that was going to tell us something, kind of let us know what secrets he was wanting to hide. He didn't pull anything out. There it all still was. My biggest question in the song is - who is the "dark figure at the fence"? For some reason I get the impression that might be the key to the unhappiness that has weaved itself in and out of Rick's life.
I was able to hear this song before it was released on SDAA and I remember when I first heard it my first reaction was "Hmmm, did Rick write this before or after Billy Joel wrote We Didn't Start The Fire"... Then I listened another couple of times and I remember finding some of the lines interesting: black figure at the fence...WOW, some bad images came into my head. my infidelity...Sad confirmation that MY Rick Springfield was a man. mama-san killed a man...now this one I first heard it this way "mama- san" new paragraph "killed a man" OMG, Rick had to kill someone in Vietnam. Then after talking about it with other fans and my husband I realized he saw mama-san kill a man. So here's my guilt part. When I read the lyrics, I'm captivated. But when I put the cd in and this one comes on, I press skip. It doesn't capture me. I can't even sing along to it because I haven't listened to it enough to know it (although my 11-year old can). I know how important this song was for Rick to write and I feel guilty for not "liking" it enough to listen to it and know it, I feel like I'm somehow letting him down.
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