MY FATHER'S CHAIR
(Lyrics and Music by Rick Springfield)
My Father's Chair still standing there
All alone since the long night
Now it's three years on and I still feel
He'll come home, we'll be alright
So where's this healing time brings
I was told the pain would ease
But it still hurts like the first night
That night my brother, my mother and I
Were looking up at a distant star
And wishing we could reach that far
And back in the house
And alone for the first time
We told each other we cared
We avoided My Father's Chair
I watch my family, we hold on
We are strong and we'll be alright
The clock continues counting down, all the while
And every child will share the long night
But do the spirits meet again
Why am I still so filled with doubt
Is my soul everlasting
And the far distant future
When I knew you'd be gone
Came too fast and stays too long
Why do they leave the weak of spirit
And take the strong
When the world turns sour
And I get sick from the smell
And I can't find no comfort there
I climb into My Father's Chair
(total playing time
3:26)
SONG FACTS:
Rick performed this song on Dick Clark's American Bandstand 25th Anniversary
Special.
This song appears on the following albums: Tao, Greatest Hits Alive, and The
Best of Rick Springfield (Japan).
More Fan Reviews / Comments
I first heard this song exactly one year ago
today.... when I bought the Alive CD. How do I remember this so exactly???
Because it was two weeks later, on Halloween, when my father suddenly passed away.
When I had first heard it, I remember feeling sad for Rick, and the pain he
obviously still felt over losing his Father. I never imagined it would so quickly
come to mean something entirely different to me.
Without getting too deep into it, I will say that I never had a close, loving relationship
with my Father. In the years after I left home and started living my own life and
began having a family of my own, anytime I thought about my Father, it was all the
negative things. Before too long, that's all I was able to remember.
And then he died.
No illness. No warning. He simply sat in his chair that morning to read the
paper and watch the morning news while he drank his coffee.....and died. Just like
that.
I don't remember putting in the Alive CD that day, or turning my stereo on. All I
remember is hearing MFC start. And when Rick sang "And the far distant future
when I knew you'd be gone, came too fast, and stays too long. Why do they leave the
weak of spirit, and take the strong".......that is when my tears finally came.
And for the first time in years, I was flooded with memories of times spent with
Daddy....the GOOD times. The ones I had forgotten for so long. And I
admitted to myself that deep down in my heart, (though I'd done a good job of convincing
myself I hated him for never being there for me) I really *did* love him, and always had.
I cried and cried as I remembered all the things about him that were good, and I
cried for what could have been, but never was. But most of all.....I cried because I
never got a chance to tell him "I love you, Daddy" one more time...never let
myself tell him I was sorry....never did so many things I SHOULD have done when I had the
chance.
Now it's been almost a year, and I find myself turning to MFC more and more as the
anniversary of his passing nears. And as much as it hurt to hear it the day he
died....it comforts that much now. It brings to mind those precious times when I was
little, and Daddy would turn on the record player to play a song that I *believe* was
called "Daddy's Girl" and we'd sing and play together, and just listen to it
over and over again. Reminds me of the days I couldn't wait for him to get home from
work, so I could show him some school paper I had done well on that day. And all
those Thanksgivings when Mom would run the two of us out of the kitchen, because we were
nibbling on the turkey before she had finished preparing everything else, and the way we'd
laugh and grab one more piece when she looked away.
These memories are more precious to me than gold now. And I truly believe that
without this song.....I wouldn't have them. So this song means a lot to me.
More than I could ever put into words.
I love this song. My father is still alive. When
I hear this song, I see my grandmother. I lived with her part of my very young years. She
nearly raised me until Kindergarten. I must say that I loved her chair. I guess that's why
I love this song. Not be cause I lost my father, but because her chair was such a place of
comfort to me for so long. I still have pictures of me laying it it like I always did.
Unfortunately she went to a nursing home and her house lay vacant until her death.
I was 16 years old when she died. I wanted everything in her house and the
hosue.
May dad said "no way", it had to go. I did get a few of her prized possessions,
all of which I paid for from other relatives. But I couldn't buy the chair...it had been
thrown away :( I still see that place in my mind, even though I can't go there. Anyway,
this is where to song takes me, to my loving grandmother's house.
I only wish our family was as nice as the song after she died. You see, my father was
adopted adn he never new his 'real' mother. We found out from an aunt about him having
siblings. The information was still very vague and everyone kept the secret from him.
Now, anyone who knew anything idead and I hope that wehn our spirits meet again
it can all be cleared up. I have no doubt about meeting again. I sure which I had my
grandmother's chair though, I would climb in it. My favorite line from this song reveals
how vulnerable we all are, like a child I am when I hear this:
When the world turns sour, And I get sick from the smell, And I can't find no comfort
there, I climbe into My Father's Chair.
No, if I could just find that chair...
Even though this is my 2nd all time favorite song, I actually
don't have any personal identification with it. I've actually lost all 4 of my
grandparents and both of my parents, so you'd think this would be chalk full of personal
emotions for me, but since I don't really deal with the whole "death" thing, I
just push all those emotions away and don't really go anywhere personal when I hear
the song.
The reason I love this song so much is, to me, this is the heart and soul of Rick
Springfield. This is the side of him that makes him so special. That he can feel
this deeply, word it in such a beautiful way, and is willing to let us see him so raw.
It's truly his gift to us. The fact that this song has touched so many other
people and helped them deal with loss, makes it even more special.
My favorite line in the song is "when the world turns sour and I get sick from
the smell".......The way I identify with this line is that when other people's
bad behavior makes me sick, it helps for me to put on a good Rick Springfield song, and
feel his "goodness" and let that remind me that there are good people out there,
and try to hold on to that, instead of letting the badness eat me up.
I also want to add that I do not believe that MFC fits on Tao. I often forget that
it's there, hiding at the end of the cd. When I reviewed State of the Heart, I said
it was probably my favorite song from the cd, forgetting the MFC was on there too. By "not fitting with the rest of Tao" statement, I mean that if
he had repeated the last line about 40 times, it'd have been different, but it was
the one song on the whole album that didn't repeat itself. Also, to me, it's the one
song that isn't really dated, it doesn't have that 1980's feeling stamped all over
it. Rick could have written this song yesterday. The feeling of it seems
timeless.
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This is my very favorite Rick Springfield song of all time. Nothing on this Earth,
in my opinion, compares to this song. It is a shining masterpiece.
Personally, I relate to this song because of the death of my grandmother (Nonie). I
actually grew up next door to her (like any other normal, psycho Italian
family....grandmother next door, aunt on the other side, great aunt down the street, uncle
on the next block....I think we invented the word "commune"!) so she was
definitely a second mom to me. Nonie's house was often the safe haven I escaped to
when my parents were bitterly fighting. She had a chair...I loved the chair.
My mom now has the chair, thank goodness, and it still smells like Nonie.
Unfortunately Nonie died when I was only nine years old, and while I have lost other
family members with the passing of time, it is her death that still haunts me the
most. I still feel cheated and a bit abandoned.
I've always read how this song has soothed
people who have lost a loved one. That this song was moving and spiritual. I must
admit that while I understood it's meaning and thought it was a beautiful tribute from
Rick tohis father, I never "got it". It didn't touch me the way it has so many
others. It was just another song for me. You see, I've never lost anybody in my life
before, so maybe I didn't understand the pain that comes with it.
Last week, my sisters and I lost our mother. I haven't listened to this song since she
passed but have read the words a couple of times today. As I read the lyrics I realized
that while we're all different people with different personalities, the pain that comes
with losing someone is the same. It's deep and it's real and it seems endless.
Now it's three years on and I still feel, He'll come home, we'll be alright -
It's been only 9 days for us and sometimes it feels like it's been years or that it hasn't
happened at all, that it was just a dream. My sister told me today that she's dialed our
mom's phone number a few times because she had forgotten mom was gone. I know
intellectually that she's gone, I just don't know that I truly feel it. Reality isn't here
100%. Will it take 3 years? 5 years? Does it ever come or will we feel this way for the
rest of our lives?
And back in the house, And alone for the first time, We told each other we cared
- We've done this. I've noticed the extra efforts everyone has made to tell each other how
much we care for each other and our mom. This is the first time my father (who divorced my
mother when I was 6 months old) ever told me how much he loved my mom. He shared some
memories of her with me when we were alone, it was nice. I hope this open-ness that my
mom's death created, remains.
But do the spirits meet again, Why am I still so filled with doubt, Is my soul
everlasting - I 100% believe our spirits meet again. When my mother was dying she was
talking to someone and it wasn't any of us who were standing at her bedside...she was
talking to her father who passed away before I was born. I knew he was there to help her
in her transition. I also know my mom is watching over me, my sisters and our children.
She's been in my house all week. Late at night I feel her most. I'm not sure what to do
with her there. I walk to the kitchen late in the dark and feel her as I pass the living
room. But I don't look or go in, I think I'm too scared for some reason...but I know she's
there and that is comforting. There is no doubt for me regarding her soul/spirit.
As for the song, I get it now.
My Father's Chair....quite the song. So sad, yet
also can be uplifting and bring comfort to those that have lost loved ones. I
lost both my nana (grandma) and grandpa within a year of each other. They were divorced so
it's really strange that they should leave this Earth a year apart, almost to the exact
date. I truly miss them both. And like others, I have felt my Nana here in my house. I
used to spend the night quite a lot with her when I was little and I
can still smell the eggs frying and the cantaloupe that she used to cut up for me. That
was how I came to love Cantaloupe. I can't buy it now, though...because I miss
her too much.
Oh, gosh, this is a song review....well, okay, so my Nana doesn't have a chair for me to
crawl into, I guess I should just go buy cantaloupe and enjoy it with her memories. As for
my Grandpa, he was a big man, had great big hands. I remember his hands and the way he'd
reach out to hug me.....I can still picture them and him...didn't know he'd go so soon. He
was watching a Dodger game and was cursing the Dodgers for some dumb plays. Then next
thing my uncle knew, he was gone. So a Dodger game will never be the same again.
At least he went quickly and in the best way that anyone could go.
And the far distant future
When I knew you'd be gone
Came too fast and stays too long
Yes, much too long, we all know there is no turning back time, no avoiding death. Why
can't we all just live forever?? Eventually we all heal, I suppose, in our own
time and way. I will always tear up when I hear this song. The songs this man can
write.....
In 1997, I met Rick for the first time ever and
my first comment to him was how much I appreciated MFC because it made me feel less alone
after losing my sister. My eyes filled with tears and then his eyes filled with
tears. He reached towards me and held me in a bear hug. Rubbing my back, he
whispered in my ear, that the pain never goes away but it does become more bearable with
time. Truer words have never been spoken.
My Father's Chair:
This song could be the song that has allowed me the most healing. My sister, Tammy
passed away on May 24, 1994. It was by far the most devastating thing that has EVER
happened to me. She was a great older sister (18 months, my elder) & she took me
to my very first Rick Springfield concert in 1985. I went along with a few of her
college buddies & I was in my glory!! I was standing on the chair singing along,
mesmerized by the sight of Rick and she was getting sooo embarrassed. I remember her
yelling at me... "Is it REALLY NECESSARY that you sing every song?? You look
like a dweeb and you are embarrassing me!!" To which I laughed and just
continued my enjoyment of the show.
It could have easily been the best night of my life back there in 1985. I remember
Rick sitting down at the piano and singing My Father's Chair and feeling bad for him but
not really connecting to it as I hadn't suffered a loss quite like his. Until my own
sister passed. Then I dug thru my tapes & April 24th, My Father's Chair and
Sarah McLachlan's Hold On became my source of comfort songs.
Flash forward to 1997 ~ after losing Tammy, I was depressed. Seriously.
Horribly. We had gotten AOL a few months earlier & I wasn't interested. I was
into mediums, psychics, and the afterlife. I was overwrought with no where to
turn. Counselors weren't helping and the prescribed drugs that I was taking ~ whew!!
April 24th came & I logged into AOL with the handy sign on that my hubby had
created. I did my first search.. Rick Springfield.
Wow, I was shocked ~ there was news about Rick & everything!! I connected with
so many fans that had carried a love for him & his music through the years.
Friendships were formed & I leaned heavily on them to get me thru the dark years.
Flash forward to August, 1998 & Rick is back touring in Michigan!! It's my first
concert & it's at the same venue that I had finally seen Rick with Tammy. This
concert was extremely bittersweet as I began to cry as Rick began singing MFC. The
poor guard that keep bouncing me back to my seat had no idea why I suddenly am crying and
leaves me be. I felt incredibly peaceful like my sister was there with me. It
was a full circle.. almost.
It's now 2002, and while the pain has only dulled, the darkness has lifted. I still
have my days & ofcourse the anniversaries are always tough. I truly thank Rick
for his kind words and the music as well as a list of Rick friends that helped me through
one of the most difficult times in my life. Not a day passes that I don't think of
Tammy but I think she's been there smiling as I continue to act like a geek at many a Rick
show.
I think of MFC as a gift that Rick gave all of us. It may not speak to you now but
at some unfortunate time it might. At that time, hopefully it will comfort you.
I know for me, it made me feel like I wasn't alone in dealing with a loved one's
passing.
Anyway... Hopefully you all are not upset by my rambling. Like I said, I'm
fighting feeling run down and Tammy's birthday is coming up on the 29th. I'm sending
out a healing hug to all of us that have lost someone special. You are not alone
(unfortunately).
My Fathers chair holds special meaning to me but
in a totally different way. My Parents got divorced when I was 5... My brother was
7, and when my father left I very much felt he was gone forever. I always related this
song to that first night when he was gone, and we were alone in the house, my mother
surely reeling from the pain of losing her husband, and my brother mad and frustrated from
the loss of the father, and me wondering why Mommy and Daddy just couldn't be together
anymore...and where did he go when he walked out that door.
Now when I hear this song, it takes me back to that night with all the pain and trauma
this song brings for me, it does bring me comfort as well, because by my father leaving.
The bond that the three of us have, my mother, my brother and I , can never be changed, we
survived, through it, got past all the heartache, the looks of "where's your
dad", the being a latch key kid, being the children of a single mother, not having
any money, having to have your boss sign your lease because the landlord wouldn't let a
woman sign it...we survived. It's a bond I almost hold precious in some strange sort of
way, because if my Dad hadn't left, we would never have gotten so close this way. I guess
it comes down to you don't know what you never had... And even though you carry the scars
of divorce sometimes, and I still wonder what it would have been like to have my Father
there at home in his chair...I can surely relate to it being empty.
I remember hearing this song for the first time.
Ok, I cheated. I don't really "remember" but, when I came home from the concert
where Rick first played this song, I wrote down every single thought and emotion
running through my head before I did forget it. So now, when I go back and read it - I do
sort of remember. I was at the concert in Detroit that year in 1985, at Pine Knob, in
Detroit. This was my first up-close concert experience with Rick where he was bigger than
a grain of rice, I had 3rd row seats. When the show came to this song, and Rick slowed
down to a stop on the stage and stood there and talked to us, I suddenly felt like the
rest of the crowd was gone and I was standing there alone, and he was talking just to me.
I could see the pain on his face, and in his eyes as if it was still to hard to express. I
felt proud that he wanted to share this new song with us. I had not had a profound loss of
anyone in my family to relate to with this song, but I swear I could feel all the emotion
radiating out of Rick and into my soul. I weeped. My friend who was with me, could not
understand this sudden change in me. I went from screaming my fool head off, to a sobbing
mess. It made a profound impact on me that Rick would share something so personal with his
fans. I went home and wrote "Rick played a new song tonight, called "My Father's
Chair". He sat at the piano while a slideshow played on the big screens of Rick as a
child with his parents. It is a great song, but I think it won't be played on the radio or
anything like that...too personal" (yep, I wrote with the .... back then too).
Then the following April, my grandfather died on the Friday before Easter. My
mother's father - she was devastated. I am the oldest grandchild on my mother's side of
the family, and we lived rather close to my grandparents. My grandfather was a
photographer (a trait I sooo wish I had inherited) and I was the subject of many of his
photos. We spent a lot of time together as I was his "first" as he always called
me. I did not know how to handle the situation whatsoever, so I did what I did when things
got too rough and I turned to Rick and his music. It didn't even dawn on me to play Tao
immediately, I just starting playing random stuff..and then MFC started up. I was in
my room, and I cranked it to the highest volume. My parent's room was across the hall, and
my mother came out in the middle of the song and walked over to my room and sat on my bed
with me and we cried for what seemed like hours until we were all cried out. My mother
then told me she had never really paid attention to what Rick was singing about in my
room, it was just noise to her. I told her what little I did know then about Rick's
father, and we talked about different things on through the night. It was from that day on
that my mother never berated me for liking Rick.
I so wanted to play this song at the funeral, but I was overruled by my mother's brothers,
who chose "The Leader of the Band" by Dan Fogelberg. So now, whenever I hear
THAT song... I think of the funeral. I still think of my grandfather's passing however,
when I'm listening to MFC on my own. I'm thinking he's looking down on me with a smirk
though, that would be just like him.
When I first met Rick in 1997 at the now famed Tucson Tennis Charity event, his mother was
in attendance that weekend. The performance of this song is what stands out for me that
weekend (ok, next to actually MEETING Rick). Rick sang this song with more feeling
than I had ever seen come out of him. I'm sure that his mother had heard the song
before, but the look on her face made it seem she was hearing it for the first time. Rick
was in tears, his mother was in tears, we all were bawling. It sounds awful, but it was a
good thing.
My father is still alive, and somewhat healthy. I've had a very stormy relationship over
the years with my father, but it has improved for the better the older we get. Therefore,
the lines that stand out for me in this song are "..the clock continues counting
down all the while and every child will share the long night." I dread this
night happening for me. My dad has a "chair" too. My father has also expressly
forbidden me to play "that damn Rick Springfield" at his funeral also, so I will
be comforted alone, once again with Rick's music when the time comes.
I see this song on Tao as totally fitting, as
his father's death may be part of the reason he looked to eastern religion, Taoism,
for answers. He has so many questions in this song-
So where's this healing time brings?
But do the spirits meet again?
Why am I still so filled with doubt?
Is my soul everlasting?
Why do they leave the weak of spirit
And take the strong?
I think even within the song he comes around to dealing with his
father's death.
We avoided My Father's Chair...
to
When the world turns sour
And I get sick from the smell
And I can't find no comfort there
I climb into My Father's Chair
Throughout the album, he goes back and forth with the issues of fear of war, becoming a
man, trouble in relationships, trying to find himself spritually. I wonder if the track
order (or disorder) was on purpose. I think the last line "I climb into my
father's chair" is a completion, perhaps "surrender". He accepts that
life goes on and assumes the role of husband and father, possibly looking to his father's
spirit for guidance.
I don't want to jump too far ahead, but some things come up on Karma that I think relate
to this. In His Last Words -
The cold wind blew through the tree
In my father's yard
And I looked for meaning
And in Free-
I had to close a door in my life
For another one to open
So I could go through
I would think the process of writing and expressing these feelings through music is also
healing in itself, since just listening to it is so healing for many of us.
I have to confess that I never gave Tao a chance. It was just too deep for me as a
teenager and I didn't even like the music. My Father's Chair came to have meaning to me
when my mom passed away, but I still never cared to listen to the rest of Tao. I now
realize (thanks to you guys) that Tao is somewhat like Karma (and I love Karma), so I will
have to give it a chance. I have been missing out on such insight to the thoughts of the
wonderfully talented Rick Springfield.
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